


I’m here in space, and I love you

by druswriting



Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1 Things, Aliens, Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Letters, Long-Distance Relationship, Love Letters, Multi, Outer Space, Pining, Postcards, References to phase four, Sadly, Space Wives, Wives, but not in a sexual way you creeps!, homophobia truly wins, it was so hard not writing wife a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:48:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24722545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/druswriting/pseuds/druswriting
Summary: 5 times Maria and Carol exchanged postcards, and one time that...
Relationships: Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 39





	I’m here in space, and I love you

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea from this [text post.](https://stuffedgrapeleaves.tumblr.com/post/187773891441/postcards-say-im-here-im-here-and-i-love-you-in)
> 
> Black Lives Matter. It feel weird to post and read fics at a time like this, but since I must, I'm using it to help others. Hope you enjoy the fic!  
> 
> 
> [Bail funds for protesters.](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Peqd9TCmmqxty8Cco6DKsKX8D5tj9Vb9kREozbYJVXc/mobilebasic)  
> [Youtube playlist through which you can donate passively. Don't skip the ads!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCgLa25fDHM&list=PLtooIklzheqzORPbQBiEZKsw2T4s6SUxv)  
> [Petitions, donations, phone numbers and emails to contact, etc.](https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/)

1.

-1993-

Carol couldn’t stop thinking about Maria. 

Not that that was something unusual. Maria was always on her mind, ever since she started remembering everything.

But now she wasn’t thinking of the memories she couldn’t piece together, the memories she couldn’t understand, like the nights with Maria in her arms, or the brushing of Maria’s arms in the back of the pub they liked, or the afternoons with Maria laughing into her chest at something Monica said. She wasn’t thinking of the past she couldn’t remember.

She was thinking about her last visit to Earth when she told Maria about all these memories and feelings she couldn’t explain, and how she can’t stay away until she figures them out.

She was thinking about lips brushing against hers, kisses on her neck, moans directly in her ear making her shiver. She was thinking of cuddling with her daughter and girlfriend, pressing her lips to the top of black locks, whispers of loving words. 

But she was mostly thinking about when she had to say goodbye. 

“I don’t want to leave you,” Carol whined.

Maria chuckled, “we don’t want you to leave either, baby. But you have to go save some alien ass. We’ll be right here when you get back. Right, Monica?”

Monica nodded, “yeah, mom, don’t worry. We’ll tell you everything you missed when you get back.”

Carol started floating, “I’m going to miss my girls…”

“We’ll miss you, too!”

“Send us a ton of postcards, yeah?” Maria joked.

Carol couldn’t help but think of that specific last line especially. Carol had visited beautiful places, and hideous ones, had had bad experiences she wished to put behind her and good ones she learned from. Now, more than ever she wished to share everything with her family. When she finally had a family. 

She stumbled upon the execution by accident. Frankly it was quite ridiculous that she had to stumble upon it, since all it took was a little imagination on Carol’s part. 

She was drinking at a bar. She doesn’t often do that, but the bar looked like the one that she and Maria loved, and she was feeling a little home-sick and high of the victory of her latest mission. She went in and drank a little, trying to forget about home, and the fact she couldn’t go back yet. When she finished drinking, she schmoozed around with the other aliens. Eventually, the other aliens turned on her for her powers, so, pissed off, she stumbled out of the bar and onto the streets. 

As she flew, swaying around the city filled with floating buildings and buildings on the ground (they ran out of space in the sky) she looked up and saw a smaller, white building, with a sign on it that could only be translated as “post office”. 

Carol’s face lit up with a smile, as she suddenly realized what that meant. She could send Maria a letter! A postcard! She could send Maria what she wanted!

She immediately flew to the building, opening the door so fast, it was nearly ripped away. The individual inside the office, behind a glass desk, jumped, startled by the fact they had a customer. 

“Oh, hello!” he said, quickly scrambling to get the wanted paraphernalia for his business, “I’m sorry, it’s a mess right now. I- uh… which planet do you wish to mail your letter to?” 

“Earth,” Carol declared, “for my girlfriend…” 

“Earth?” the individual, his tag name read ‘Ugt’ laughed, “we don’t mail to that shithole.” 

“Hey, I’m from that shithole!” Carol protested. 

Ugt looked her up and down, at what a contrast she was to his sober worm body with wings and no face. “I stand corrected,” he said patronizingly. 

Carol rolled her eyes and smacked the glass desk, pulling Ugt by the upper part of his body, “listen here, asshole, I just saved your world, and I haven’t gotten one thanks for that. Now, I’m pissed and powerful and tipsy. As fast as I can save this world I can destroy you. So, how about a little delivery to Earth, and maybe a discount for the world-saving and you being rude?” 

Ugt started to shake and Carol let him go. “I’ll see what can be done,” he promised hesitantly. 

Carol nodded, smirked, grabbed a postcard of the flying city and a pen, doing it all while being a major asshole. When she was done being smug, she sat down on the floor and started writing to Maria. 

~~~

“Look, mom, Carol is here!”

Maria abandoned everything as soon as Monica announced that. Her girlfriend was missing for only a few weeks, but there wasn’t a moment that Maria didn’t miss her. She thought she was getting better at not missing Carol, but as soon as her lips touched Carol’s, she was right back to square one. 

Her excitement at having her girlfriend back didn’t make her blind, though; there was a ship landing on their lawn, but it wasn’t Carol’s ship. 

“I’m not sure that’s Carol, honey,” Maria said cautiously, trying not to alarm her daughter. 

Monica frowned, “maybe she took a different ship?” 

“...Maybe,” Maria protectively hid Monica behind her anyway, “I’m going to check. You stay here, ok?” 

Monica didn’t seem happy with her mother’s order but nodded anyway. 

Carol’s spaceship was the size of a slightly large plane, but compared to this ship, it looked like a helicopter. The spaceship didn’t have any wings, unlike Carol’s ship, and it was clunkier because of its height, (what was the height for?). Maria knew Carol would never fly something that awkward. 

Before she could come up with a plan, the ship’s gate lowered and an alien slid down from it. Before Maria got over her shock at the ugly worm creature, it began to speak. 

“Adh hjvjsd gjefg?” 

Maria was confused. “Um, what?” 

The alien bowed the lower part of his body, seemingly in exasperation. “Are you Maria Rambeau?” the alien spoke in English. 

“Ah, yes.” 

“You have a delivery from Carol Danvers,” the alien said and handed her an envelope. 

Maria hesitantly took the letter, wondering when the alien got hands, before realizing they were wings.  _ Could this really be Carol? _ She thought,  _ or is it a trap?  _ But, sure enough, on the envelope was Carol's messy but small and gentle handwriting, Maria’s name and address scribbled on the paper. 

Maria chuckled. Carol actually did it. She sent her a postcard. She was completely ridiculous. 

“Do I need to sign anything?” Maria asked, looking up to the alien, “or pay you?” 

The alien gave her a side-eye, “no, what for?” Then he muttered, “God, I hate humans.” 

And with that, the alien boarded his ship again, and his spaceship started to take off. 

Monica took this as a sign to run outside, “mom, what is it? What did they want?” 

Maria smiled, “to give me a postcard.” 

~~~

Dear Maria, 

I don’t think I ever missed anyone as much as I miss you. Ever since I left Earth I couldn’t stop thinking about you, and how much I love you and how much I want to go back to you. It sucks that I can’t. I think remembering is both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, I got you back, all of you, every kiss, every hug, every “I love you”, all of Monica’s firsts. On the other hand… I don’t want to save the universe anymore. I only want you. But I have to save the world, and I have to love you, so I’m stuck. I’m stuck thinking of when I can be with you again. 

Enjoy the postcard. I’ll tell you all about where I’ve been when I see you soon, Rambeau. 

Love, 

Danvers. 

2.

-2001-

Maria felt more lonely than ever. Monica went to college at MIT, Carol was still in space, and Maria was left alone. Maria sighed. She wished she could tell her love about it. Carol has sent her letters for the past eight years, but Maria never got to reply until Carol came back from space. Now she wanted to send a letter to Carol, but not necessarily because she wanted to react to her letters, but because she just wanted to talk to the love of her life. 

Usually, she waited impatiently for Carol to come home, or for a letter to come, but now, she just wanted to switch roles with Carol. Be the one talking instead of the one listening. Be the one acting instead of the one waiting. Be the one meeting new people, the one making new memories, the one learning about new places. Not the one staying at home. 

She never used to feel like this about Carol’s adventures. Sure, she wanted to help her lover with the dangers she went through, she wanted to see all the cool things Carol talked about outside of pictures, she wanted to just be with Carol. But she had Monica, so she knew she couldn't. She had Monica, and she knew that was enough. More than enough. But now Monica was gone and Maria felt… restless. Like she knew she had better things to do. 

So she wrote a letter to Carol. Talking about feeling lonely. Talking about wanting to be with her. Talking about talking. Talking. 

~~~

When the messenger with whom she sent a letter to Maria, woke her up from her sleep one night, Carol nearly killed him. She was surprised to find out who he was, to say the least. 

Thankfully, to the alien’s relief more than hers, she quickly realized who it was and backed off, barking at him, “you? What are you doing here?” 

Nervous, the alien quickly started explaining, “so I delivered the letter to your mate. It all went well, the letter was intact and everything, but then she seemed displeased. She handed me a letter and asked me nicely to deliver it. So I said, ‘lady, this isn’t my job’, so she gave me this scary stare, like-” the alien made a face that Carol certainly recognized. She smiled. “So, I tried to track you down around the galaxy, but you weren’t easy to find, so it took a while. But now I found you! So here-” 

And he handed her a letter. 

In disbelief, Carol took the letter from the alien’s hands, gasping at Maria’s delicate and perfect handwriting, writing her name, and the address: space. She wanted to smell the letter, hoping it would smell like vanilla and grass and Maria, but resisted the urge, instead opting to eagerly open the letter. 

~~~

Hey, Danvers, 

Are you surprised? 

To be honest, I still don’t know how I’m going to do this, if at all. Will I build a spaceship to get this to you? Will I use the same aliens as you? Will I just show this to you when you come back to me? Will I never show you this letter? I don’t know. 

But I want to talk to you, no matter if it’s in vain or not. 

I’m so proud of Monica for getting accepted into MIT. I am. I know some parts of it she couldn’t have done without me and some parts she couldn't have done without herself. I’m proud of her either way. But I also miss her so much. You know how you used to roll your eyes when people would say: “they grow up so fast”? How you used to reply: “actually, it seems more like Monica is taking baby steps on her way to growing up”? Well, you were wrong, because she did grow up so fast. And I know you don’t like being told that, but tough luck, it’s true. 

Do you remember how it feels like just yesterday when she first called you “auntie”? How it seems like just last week when we drove her to school for the first time? How it was barely a month ago when she got in trouble at school, and you started calling her Lieutenant Trouble? Once upon a time, I was afraid you wouldn’t know what I was talking about, but now not only do you know, you also agree, because, to you, this must seem like fresh memories! 

It’s funny how I get nostalgic like this. It feels like all that I do nowadays. It’s sort of pathetic and sad. 

I wish you would be here and I would be happy. I wish I could be with you and I could be happy. I wish I could talk to you. I miss the army days where we had conversation over conversation, pretending to be asleep in fear of snitches. We acted like such teenagers! It was the best days of my life, and it’s all thanks to you. I miss those days. I miss you. 

See you soon, through paper or in person, 

Rambeau.

~~~

In the first few years after Monica left for college, Carol got letters back from Maria, almost as often as Carol sent out letters. It was nice. Sure, Carol felt bad that Maria felt lonely, but she loved hearing from her. 

In later years, when Maria got used to not having Monica around, Maria sending her a letter was a few and far between, kind of occasion. But every time Carol sent out a letter, she thought of the fact she might get one back. And every time she did get one back, she kept it close. In the inner pocket of her jacket close. With all the other letters. Her pocket of love. 

Maria had a box just like that at home. 

3.

-2016- 

“You stole our gig!” 

Usually, when Carol saved people, she didn’t get such a rude reply. She didn’t always get a grateful response, of course. Sexism existed in space, too, as well as speciesism, but she never got yelled at straight after saving someone’s life. 

The white guy wasn’t the only one pissed, however. “Don’t worry, Quill, we’ll still get our money,” Carol had to look down to spot a talking raccoon, “we just have to kill her!” 

The big blue guy cheered at that thought. 

“You will do no such thing,” Carol said, appalled. To prove it, Carol raised her photon hands. 

“I agree,” the only girl, an attractive green woman, pitched in. 

“Well, I like you,” Carol quipped. 

The green alien gave her a tiny smile. “I’m sure she can be reasoned with,” she said, “how about we split the bounty?” 

The band of dudes protested, but it didn’t matter because Carol replied, “wait, there was a bounty on that thing?” 

The whole band of dudes looked confused. “Great!” the raccoon complained, “she wasn’t going to steal our bounty, but now she is! Good going, Gamora!” 

“You want to see if we can find another one of those things?” Gamora, apparently, challenged. 

The raccoon shut his mouth. 

“Wait, why did you save our asses, then?” the white guy asked, and the raccoon looked at him, betrayed. The white guy responded by staring right back at him, “for being rude to my girlfriend.”

Carol shrugged, “some of my friends complained about that thing.” 

The band of dudes rolled their eyes, and Gamora snorted. 

“Well, you’re one of those humanitarian fellows. You guys don’t like money,” Carol looked at the raccoon, amused, “how about you just say we defeated that thing, while you looked on in awe?” 

Carol wasn’t a stranger to bounty gigs. Saving the galaxy might have landed her a few free meals and drinks and maybe money, but not all that often. Sometimes she had to be familiar with the bounty gigs. She always made sure that the point of the bounty was keeping the public safe, though. 

On this planet, she needed the money. She wasn’t going to go hungry, but she could’ve used more than scraps from her friends. But… the letter in her pocket was burning a hole, and she wanted to write and deliver it. The gang of dudes looked like they had a ship, spare time, and the white guy probably had experience with Earth. They seemed perfect for the job. 

“You can lie,” Carol concluded, “but I want a favor.” 

The raccoon looked at her suspiciously, “what favor?” 

“Well, you have a ship, right?” Carol asked. 

“No, no, no, no!” white guy drew the line, “our ship is  _ our ship _ . It’s off the table.” 

“Relax, I don’t want your junk,” Carol said and the white guy gasped, genuinely offended. “I just want you to act as my post office.”

That relaxed everyone except the raccoon. “Where to?” the raccoon prompted. 

“Earth.” 

The big blue guy barked out a laugh, “Quill, that’s where you’re from!” 

“Yeah, haven’t been there in years,” white guy - Quill - said, gloomy. 

The raccoon didn’t comment on Quill’s origins, “for free? No way. That shithole is too far away.”

“Yeah, I agree!” Quill said. 

Carol sighed. “Well, then, I guess I can just go and take the bounty I rightfully deserve,” Carol suggested, “you can get about a fourth of it as payment, how’s that sound?” 

The raccoon and Quill smartly shut their mouths. 

“So, we have a deal?” 

~~~

Dear Maria, 

There’s so much crazy shit going on that I think you’ll love. Today I saved the asses of a raccoon, a small living tree, a white guy, and a badass lady. They were fighting a horrific monster and losing terribly. Since I needed to defeat that monster, anyway, I helped them out. When I was done, almost all of them screamed at me at how I was stealing their money. It was rude but also hilarious. They agreed to deliver this letter, though, so what do I care about what they’re like? Well, I mean, hopefully they were nice to you. If not make them deliver another letter, so I can kick their asses, instead of save their asses.

This is one of those moments that I would love for you to be here. You would enjoy the booze on this planet, and the music, and the dancing. You would study the technology, be astonished by it. You would kiss me, touch me, love me. And you would make those guys wish I didn’t save them even more. I usually don’t want you here. I see stuff here that suddenly make me grateful that I was never sent to an active war zone. But right now? I wish you were here, being amused and pissed off at the guys with me.

Miss you too much,

Danvers. 

~~~

Maria smiled at the letter and wished she could be there with Carol, too. In whatever form and on whatever planet.

4.

-2027-

Carol was gone less and less these days, wanting to spend more time with her. Maria had a feeling she knew what it was about; Maria’s mortality, and Carol’s lack of mortality, catching up with her. She didn’t mind, she didn’t complain. She had no problem selfishly keeping Carol, until she dies, at least fifteen more years from now. 

When Carol had to go, Maria didn’t complain either. She always knew this was the deal. But when she didn’t come back, she grew concerned. 

That’s why when she heard someone landing on her lawn, and the smell of burned grass hit her nose, she ran outside to greet her baby. 

What she found was two Thors. 

“-think I was supposed to burn the grass…” 

“Nonsense, you did great! Humans are grateful for the symbol of Thor in their yards!” 

The shorter Thor, who seemed to be a girl, still shuffled awkwardly, frowning, “Bruce said Tony hates it.” 

Thor frowned as well, but before he could reply, he noticed Maria. “Ah, the captain’s mate! We have come here to deliver a letter to you.” 

“You’re Thor…” Maria said, disbelievingly. 

“Yes, and this is my friend, Jane Foster!” 

Maria thought of this information for a second, before deciding, sure, she could have a Nobel-prize-winning scientist and a God on her lawn. What else is new?

“Carol has been a great help to us, so we decided to do her a favor, and since we were on our way to Earth… well, here we are,” Jane Foster smiled awkwardly while explaining. 

Maria dismissed her with a wave of her hand, “don’t worry, it’s nothing new. I had the “Guardians of the Galaxy” here and spaceships regularly ruin my backyard. This is nothing.” 

That seemed to relax Jane Foster. 

“So, you’re Thor now?”

Jane went back to being awkward, “sorry, I can’t really-”

“Yes, she’s my successor! The hammer has decided it is not needed anymore, and so it has chosen a new master; Jane!” to convey his point, he pointed excitedly at Jane. 

Jane rolled her eyes. 

Maria smiled, “well, good for you. My daughter loves you, I’m sure she’ll be happy to hear this.” 

Jane beamed at her, “is your daughter here or…?” 

Maria laughed, “oh no, she’s all grown up. You can find her with the other Avengers, I think. The Scarlet Witch.” 

Jane nodded, “I’ll keep that in my mind.” 

“Will you two like a drink?” Maria offered, gesturing towards her home. 

“Actually we really have to get going,” Jane declined politely, “thank you, though.” 

Thor leaned forward towards her, giving her Carol’s letter, “we’re going to New Asgard and she’s excited to see her girlfriend.” 

“Thor!” Jane groaned. 

Amused, Maria waved until they disappeared from view, and then she tore open the letter from her wife.

~~~

Dear Maria, 

I can’t come home right now. There’s a lot of stuff I can’t control, but I need to take care of anyway. I’ll tell you all about it when I come home. For now, know that I’m okay, and I'm spending every minute of every day thinking of when I can come back home to you. More than ever, I’m realizing I wasted too much time with the galaxy, time I should have been spending with you. That will change, I promise. If this mission ends well, I promise. 

I can’t promise, however, that I’ll never go away again. Because I will. I know you’ve been asking to come to space with me, and I’m sorry I can’t make your wishes come true. I know you’ve been asking for me to stay more, and I’m sorry but I can’t always do that. I know others wouldn’t stick with me because of all this, but you did, and I’m endlessly grateful for it. For you.

Love you to space and back (are you smiling? You are, aren’t you?), 

Yours forever,

Your wife, Danvers-Rambeau.

5.

-2014- 

The planet Carol was on, was the most beautiful she has ever been to. It was almost hard to believe that the planet was in danger exactly two days ago. The view from the cliff Carol was sitting on was of a pink river flowing down in waterfalls of loud, calming noises. The rivers were surrounded by a reddish waste that was still breathtaking thanks to the orange sunflowers and maple trees (at least that’s what they looked like). There were red leaves everywhere, falling down and flying up, and if you looked closer at them, you could see the leaves were actually fairies. The place was magical (literally!) and peaceful, everything about it inspiring relaxation, sighs of content, and the desire to paint the amazing scene in front of you. 

It was perfect. 

Carol has been searching for a place like this ever since Monica notified her that gay marriage was finally legalized in the USA. She picked out the ring, the camera to film the proposal with, and the words to say (they came naturally). The only thing missing was the location. She hoped Maria would agree with her choices. 

She set up the camera on the cliff and pressed play. 

“Hey, there, baby,” Carol smiled at the camera, imagining it was Maria’s smile which was just as stunning as the view. She moved away from the camera for a second, letting Maria watch the scenery beyond the cliff, “how do you like the view? Pretty, right?” 

_ Beyond,  _ she imagined Maria saying, but looking at her. 

She walked back into the view of the camera, “only the best for my girl.” She fiddled with the box in her hands, gathering the courage to say the next words. 

She kneeled, presenting the box, “always the best for my girl.” 

Carol smiled as she pictured Maria’s face of pure shock and  _ uh, what are you doing, Danvers? _

Carol giggled, “it feels kind of ridiculous to be proposing to you right now, and not only because you’re not here and I’m kneeling in front of a camera. It feels ridiculous because we’re already married, aren’t we? We are a family, and no contract will ever make that any more true.” 

Carol took a deep breath, “but I want to get married to you. I want to look you in the eye, and tell you how much I’ll always love you, how much I appreciate the fact that through the four years you thought I was dead, you stayed in love with me, and how much I value you because through these twenty-one years where I was more gone than with you, you stayed with me. I want to call you my wife, and have everyone hear me say it. I want to grow old with you, and be a boring old married couple, except we would never be boring. I want you. Forever.” 

She smiled tearfully, seeing Maria crying in front of her, “what do you say? Marry me?” 

~~~

The reply came a week later, only reading “yes”. 

+1 

-1995-

Maria’s new postcard arrived in a rather creative way. This time it came in the form of a little hot air balloon, that floated down towards the ground. Maria chuckled, taking the hot air balloon, and observing the basket. She thought of when Monica was little, and they would build lanterns together and lit them to fly away. Monica used to put little notes for Carol in her lantern. Maria didn’t say anything when she did that, not wanting to break the girl’s heart. Instead she put her own little notes in the lanterns. Who knows, maybe Carol got a couple. 

Inside the basket, there was a postcard, the part where written on facing up. Maria picked up the postcard and started eagerly reading her girlfriend’s love letter. 

It was just three words and a simile face to her dismay and curiosity: 

Turn me around :)

Maria frowned. Carol usually writes more than that. She was curious enough to do as Carol asked, however. To her astonishment, the picture on the other side was of Earth from outer space. 

Maria tried to think of what that meant, but before she could figure it out, she looked up from the piece of paper, and she saw Carol floating right in front of her. 

Her girlfriend smirked, “hey, there, pretty woman. Come here often?” 

**Author's Note:**

> Black Lives Matter. It feel weird to post and read fics at a time like this, but since I must, I'm using it to help others. Hope you enjoyed the fic! Please write your feedback and give this fic kudos and comments!  
> 
> 
> [Bail funds for protesters.](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Peqd9TCmmqxty8Cco6DKsKX8D5tj9Vb9kREozbYJVXc/mobilebasic)  
> [Youtube playlist through which you can donate passively. Don't skip the ads!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCgLa25fDHM&list=PLtooIklzheqzORPbQBiEZKsw2T4s6SUxv)  
> [Petitions, donations, phone numbers and emails to contact, etc.](https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/)


End file.
